I Just Love Her…

I called her at 7pm to see where she was…I was mad that she wasn’t home yet.  She was at Wal-mart getting some milk.  What I really wanted to say was I love you and miss you…needed her to be home.

Just a little while ago she made me laugh until my cheeks hurt.  That’s such a wonderful feeling.  I just love her and I am glad she loves me too…

My First Lesbian Love Part 2

Visit My First Lesbian Love Part 1 before reading

It was the summer of 06, I was 16 and heading into my senior year of H.S.  She and I were still hanging out when we could and chatting it up on the phone.  My strong attraction to her finally came it’s boiling point that year.  After a year of denial and repressed feelings I finally admitted to myself that I liked her as more than a friend.  I wasn’t sure how she felt about me.  I mean I knew that she liked me and we were good friends, but I couldn’t tell if she liked me in the way that I liked her.  But that soon changed one day.

After a series of conversations with her where we both begin to indicate that we could be “that way” and that we had an interest in one another, we decided that we would met at my house to well…explore our interests further.  I can’t remember much time lapsed between our conversation and our meeting that changed my life.

All I can remember from that day is that it was bright and sunny.  She came over to my apartment, my mother was at work that day, so we were alone.  I wish I could remember a play-by-play but I can’t.  All I know is something beautiful happened that day and we fell asleep holding each other, her head on my chest.

Soon, school started back.  I did not rejoin the basketball team in my senior year.  And while we didn’t see each other as much as we could have if I had of played, we still spent every moment we could together.  Our morning meetings before school, where we go grab breakfast before catching the bus.   The sleepovers at her house, when while everyone was asleep, we made love.  It was a whirlwind, we were young and in love and happy and blissfully loving life.

We hung out in the Village, where we felt at ease to hold hands and sneek each other a peck on the cheek.  We talked on the phone until late night.  I loved her with everything I had.  I knew that she was the one for me.  I let my guard down in order to let her in.  And she loved me and treated me so special.   She was my best friend and my lover.  If she needed anything, I was there.  If I needed anything she was there for me.

I didn’t care who knew about us, we would hold hands or lock arms crossing the street at Guy R Brewer and Jamaica Avenue on our way to catch the 111 to school.  I would rest of my head on her shoulder while we stood and waited.  I remember doing that one time and there were 3 guys standing there.  I put my head on her shoulder and I heard from a voice behind me “she’s too pretty to be a bull dyke!” and conversation started among the men.  All I could hear was the chattering of unapproval.  Shame on them if they thought I actually cared what they thought.  Undeterred, I left my head where it was, where it belonged.

I never really considered myself to be gay, but here was this person, who I loved and she just happened to be a girl.  I never thought or felt like it was strange or unnatural and just loved her and loving her came as natural to me as breathing.  I wasn’t attracted really to any other girls or anyone at all for that matter, but I just loved her…and she loved me back.

One day, while were sitting in her aunt’s living room, her aunt blurts out “ya’ll two are gay aren’t you”.  We were so startled by that, we stuttered and stumbled all over our words.  To this day I can’t even remember what we said. LOL.   She was sweet, kind, caring, calm and considerate.  She was a great friend and a wonderful lover.  I can’t remember when exactly we fell in love, it would be all but impossible for me to pinpoint a day or time…but when it happened, it happened.  And it was all in the air and every where we went, you would have to be blind not to know we were together.   I thought that she would never break my heart until one day, she did.

Mushy Stuff…

I was a bit p.o.’ed at work today.  Why?  Maybe I will write about it in another post, but writing about it will just make me upset all over again.  So I get this email from my sweetie cakes…

“You know…You are the best thing that ever happened to me again and again…I love you very much…And I can’t stop thinking about u “

Awwww…..

Needless to say I was blushing with a kool-aid grin.  There she comes in again, right on time.  I needed this.  It was a big pick me up!   I know I have found the one and there is nothing better than going to sleep with her at night and waking up with her in the morning.

I feel like a little girl with her first crush. LOL.  I just had to blog and share this.   I know many of you know exactly how I feel