Guest Post: What’s a “Real Lesbian”?
Alright, ya’l l are in for a treat. Did I just say ya’ll? I’ve been in Virginia for too long! Anyhow, I asked and Ms. Glennisha Morgan accepted the invitation to be a guest blogger on my blog. YAY! I love Glennisha’s candid writing style, so I am happy that she is gracing my blog with her presence! Glennisha choose the topic and little did I know that it would hit so close to home for me. Read and comment, but don’t forget to visit Glennisha’s blog at http://glennishamorgan.wordpress.com.
Thank’s Glennisha!
What’s a “Real Lesbian”?
I had a friend of mine’s girlfriend tell me that she didn’t think she was really a lesbian. She stated that she felt this way because my friend was the only woman that she’d been with and that she didn’t have any other lesbian friends. I responded to her by telling her that being a lesbian has nothing to do with experience or how many lesbian friends you have. feel like it’s all about how you feel and whom you’re attracted to. Also, you would never hear a straight person say that they didn’t feel straight because of their lack of experience or straight friends.
I myself have only had 1 girlfriend and that was during high school so it was nothing serious at all. In fact I’ve just recently came out about 90% at the age of 23. As far as the amount of lesbian friends I have, I can count on one hand. Does that make me any less of a lesbian than someone who has per say a ton of lesbian friends ? Or someone who has had many girlfriends? I don’t think so. And what about the lesbians who’ve only had one girlfriend but, for a substantial amount of years? Are they less of a lesbian than those who’ve had many girlfriends? I don’t think so.
The people whose lesbianism I question are the women who occasionally have sex with men but, don’t want to identify as bisexual. What do you think?
Courtesy of Glennisha Morgan
Writer, Editor, Commentator
Website:www.GlennishaTheWriter.com
Blogs: GlennishaMorgan.WordPress.com & .comTheFembassy.www
Categories: lesbian · relationships
Tagged: lesbian, lesbian love, glennisha morgan, real lesbian, fake lesbian, lesbian lifestyle
19 responses so far ↓
tami // May 4, 2009 at 4:29 pm |
this is one of my gf’s main issues with me. i have only been with her (100%) i mean i’ve done stuff with other girls, but it was nothing not all the way and no emotion attached.
she always asks me if i’m sure, i don’t think she’s sure or believe me when i tell her that i want her for all time…i think she kind of feels that i will get over it and eventually want a “live dick”. LOL. I don’t know what to tell her to make her feel and know that I want her and only her.
not sure how i am not lesbian enough when i my face is buried in her goodies… LOL. i don’t know…
she has my heart and mind…all of me. not sure what it takes to prove my lesbianism.
on a final note, i always tell my gf that i fell in love with a person, not a gender. i love her for who she is, not what she has between her legs…
What’s a “Real Lesbian” « Glennisha Morgan // May 4, 2009 at 4:37 pm |
[...] What’s a “Real Lesbian” 2009 May 4 tags: Lesbians, LGBT, what’s a real lesbian by glennishamorgan Tami had asked me to do a guest post on her blog and I obliged. She told me I could choose the topic so I had tried to do some brainstorming. Little did I know that later on that day I would have an interesting conversation with a friend of mine that lead me to write about what I think is a great topic. Anywho, check it out. [...]
Monie // May 4, 2009 at 5:10 pm |
Tami & Glennisha,
I think a lot of people think being a lesbian is about sex. There are plenty of lesbians who go through their whole life and never have sex with a woman and yet they are lesbians.
Being a lesbian, to me, is about who I feel the desire to be intimate with emotionally. Yes sex is apart of it but even if I wasn’t able to
have sex with a woman ever again I’d still be a lesbian.
Like you mention in your post there are a lot of women out there who dabble in having sex with other women but continue to have sex with men. I see those kind of ads on Craigslist all the time. It’s hard to tell what their situation is becasue people travel a long road sometimes to get to being who they really are. So some of those women will probably eventually come to terms with being lesbian, some with being bi and some are just freaks. Lol
tami // May 4, 2009 at 5:13 pm |
Monie, exactly!
“Being a lesbian, to me, is about who I feel the desire to be intimate with emotionally. Yes sex is apart of it but even if I wasn’t able tohave sex with a woman ever again I’d still be a lesbian.”
Thank you, this is soooo very true. As usual Monie, you’re on point!
Chanel // May 4, 2009 at 5:13 pm |
Hi ladies. Great post. Okay so i’m throwin my agreeance with Monie. Being a lesbian is so hypersexualized by the media that many in our own community are buying into the whole Lesbian=shitloads of SEX. I mean, yes the sex is icing on the cake, but trust there are many MANY layers to that cake that have absolutely nada to do with sex. For me, a “real” lesbian is any woman who loves women EXCLUSIVELY.
tami // May 4, 2009 at 5:16 pm |
I agree too. Being a lesbian is so hypersexualized. esp. by the male dominated media because thats all men want to see is two women together…
Alix // May 4, 2009 at 5:35 pm |
My first girlfriend used to suggest I be intimate with other women just to be sure it was what I wanted. I used to be so offended!
You don’t have to have sex to know who you’re attracted to, though I have heard people say that there is no such thing as a lesbian virgin. In their minds you are straight until you actually touch another woman.
To me, acknowledging your attraction to women even with limited sexual knowledge is further proof that it is about more than sex.
tami // May 4, 2009 at 5:48 pm |
how silly of her!
it is certaintly not about sex, it is so much more deeper than that…
glennishamorgan // May 4, 2009 at 6:02 pm |
I agree Alix. It’s so much more than just sex. Straight people aren’t questioned when they’re virgins.
belladonnaforte // May 4, 2009 at 5:46 pm |
I pretty much agree with you all on this one. Loving women makes you a lesbian. Thats it.
tami // May 4, 2009 at 5:47 pm |
short and sweet! that’s it!
AJtheDJ // May 4, 2009 at 5:57 pm |
A real lesbian is a woman who loves women on an intimate level, without second thoughts of being attracted to the opposite sex. She has absolutely no “itch” for a man, and has a sexual appetite for only the same sex.
tami // May 4, 2009 at 6:17 pm |
i agree w/ this too
LucyInDaSky // May 4, 2009 at 7:50 pm |
The people I have a problem with are the girls that come to the gay bars with their Gay BFF’s (yanno,t he fag hags) that are totally cute and will randomly kiss a lesbian in the bar and then be like, “oohhh, I was just drunk, didn’t mean anything”
UGH!
glennishamorgan // May 4, 2009 at 9:46 pm |
I agree w/ AJ too…. seems like we’re all on the same page
knowledge // May 4, 2009 at 10:04 pm |
Great topic. It just goes to show how some attitudes about sexuality are still so uninformed and sort of archaic in thinking. I used to hear it in the reverse all the time. Because I had no sexual experience with men, I somehow couldn’t really be certain I was 100% lesbian. WTF, I’d think. Being whoever we are is all about what’s going on on the inside. The emotional intimacy can manifest itself into the physical, but like someone else said it doesn’t always, but when it does… oh baby. To me, being a lesbian is about being who you are inside and out without questioning yourself.
breastswildasblkwaves // May 4, 2009 at 10:09 pm |
I used to wonder if I was a “real lesbian.” I thought my attraction to women was purely sexual. Then I fell head over heels for a girl. I’m not gonna try to downplay the sex part because sex with women was huge for me to come to terms with my sexuality. I thought I was just “sexually open-minded” when it came to women. When it came to men, I thought I was just abnormal. I couldn’t understand why I didn’t enjoy sex like my straight friends. Being with a woman sexually had the clouds parting and the angels singing. I finally felt like me. Ever since then I’ve never looked back!
laurynx // May 4, 2009 at 10:56 pm |
This never fails to come up. I’m wowed by the people who think you are “straight until…” Really this just shows how dominant and overarching heterosexuality is, and how marginalized and “othered” gay/bi sexuality is. I pretty much agree with everyone else, haha.
ladybugsmile // May 5, 2009 at 10:55 pm |
This was a great post. Thanks Glennisha. I don’t think being a lesbian has a list of criteria. I just don’t like those females that perpetrate, doing lesbianish activities (i.e. kissing and sexing it up) and then say I’m just straight. I rather you say that you’re TRYsexual instead of straight. At least I would give you more credit.